Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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