some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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