porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sex in the backyard? Check.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
