Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
