That's intense
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
