I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
