i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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