first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
