Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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