I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
