we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
