i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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