if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
