I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize