Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
