oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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