Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
