i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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