i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
