I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
