So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
