dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
