Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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