She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He did a backflip because drugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
