these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
