i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Panties = found
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
