Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
