also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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