So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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