your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize