So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
