Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
