i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
