i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
