Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
