Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
