he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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