Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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