We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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