I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
