and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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