was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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