Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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