No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
