If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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