i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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