i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
