there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
