You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
