so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
