help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
