erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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