I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
