Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize