i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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