Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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