Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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