i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
