I faked an abortion last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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